It’s Both — Living in the Messy Middle

The messy middle of menopause isn't just physical — it's an identity shift that happens to your body whether you're ready or not, and almost nobody warned you it would feel like this.
Susie Beaumont joins Nikki P to talk honestly about what menopause actually feels like — the anxiety and mood shifts no one explains, the grief of a body that feels unfamiliar, and why so many women feel completely alone moving through it.
— Menopause as an identity shift, not just a medical event— The anxiety of symptoms no one takes seriously— How to advocate for yourself when doctors dismiss what you're experiencing— Grief for the body you knew AND the liberation in what comes next— Emotional regulation when your hormones are in freefall
This is educational content based on personal experience — not medical advice. Always consult a qualified clinician for your care. You're not broken for struggling with this. Both things can be true.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Get Connected with Susie Beaumont at Thrive
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube
 

What if loving someone doesn't mean letting them hurt you?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of loving difficult people—holding compassion for them AND boundaries for yourself. About the transition anxiety of staying connected to people who drain you and the major life changes in relationships when you realize love doesn't require access. For anyone who feels guilty for needing distance from someone they love.
You'll hear about the both/and of loving someone AND protecting yourself from them, how to set boundaries without guilt or cruelty, and why emotional regulation matters when difficult people trigger you. This is about learning that love doesn't require access and holding mixed emotions (care AND limits, compassion AND self-protection).
In this episode:
- Boundaries with difficult people you love
- The anxiety of saying no to family or friends
- Mixed emotions: love and frustration, care and limits
- How to stay connected without losing yourself
- Emotional regulation when they trigger you
- Navigating major life changes in relationships
- Why distance isn't abandonment
- Grief for the relationship you wish you had
Because life isn't either/or—it's both.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube
 

CORRECTED VERSIONS - ALL 9 EPISODES
EPISODE 1: "You Can Love Them AND Keep Your Distance"
Guest: None (solo episode)
REVISED DESCRIPTION:
What if loving someone doesn't mean letting them hurt you?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of loving difficult people—holding compassion for them AND boundaries for yourself. About the transition anxiety of staying connected to people who drain you and the major life changes in relationships when you realize love doesn't require access. For anyone who feels guilty for needing distance from someone they love.
You'll hear about the both/and of loving someone AND protecting yourself from them, how to set boundaries without guilt or cruelty, and why emotional regulation matters when difficult people trigger you. This is about learning that love doesn't require access and holding mixed emotions (care AND limits, compassion AND self-protection).
In this episode:
Boundaries with difficult people you love
The anxiety of saying no to family or friends
Mixed emotions: love and frustration, care and limits
How to stay connected without losing yourself
Emotional regulation when they trigger you
Navigating major life changes in relationships
Why distance isn't abandonment
Grief for the relationship you wish you had
Because life isn't either/or—it's both.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
It's Both on Instagram & Youtube
What if the friendship isn't over—it's just different?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of friendship drift—that gap between who you were as friends and who you're becoming apart. About the transition anxiety of watching a friendship fade and not knowing if you should fight for it or let it go. About major life changes in relationships and holding grief for a friendship that changed.
In this episode of It's Both, host Nikki P and guest LaKreasha Scharcklet share authentic conversations about the emotional complexity of adult friendship: how grief and joy coexist, and how to set boundaries with compassion when connection feels hard. You'll hear about the both/and of loving someone AND outgrowing them, how to navigate drift without drama or blame, and why life transitions change friendships in ways you can't control. This is about holding mixed emotions (gratitude AND loss) and learning that some friendships aren't meant to last forever.
In this episode:
- The anxiety of friendship drift
- Grief for who you were together
- Navigating major life changes in friendships
- Mixed emotions: love and distance, gratitude and loss
- How to let go without drama
- Why life transitions change friendships
- Emotional regulation when you're mourning a living relationship
- Accepting that not all friendships last forever
Because life isn't either/or—it's both.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

What if you went into helping work to make a difference—and now it's breaking you?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of burnout in helping professions—teaching, therapy, social work, ministry, healthcare. About the transition anxiety and overthinking of caring too much when the system doesn't care enough. About major life changes in how you work when you're exhausted by the bothness of loving the work AND hating what it costs.
In this episode of It's Both, host Nikki P and guest Corey Alexander have authentic conversations about the emotional complexity of the helping professions—burnout, toxic work environments, and the cost of caring. You'll hear about the passion that drew you in and the burnout that's pushing you out, how overthinking every case or student keeps you up at night, and why emotional regulation is harder when you're absorbing everyone else's pain. This is about boundaries you thought you couldn't set and the grief of realizing helping work might not be sustainable.
In this episode:
- The anxiety and overthinking of caring too much
- Burnout in helping professions (teachers, therapists, social workers, ministers)
- Navigating major life changes in your career
- Boundaries in work that feels boundaryless
- Passion AND burnout (holding the bothness)
- Emotional regulation when you absorb everyone's pain
- Grief for the idealism that brought you here
- Why helping work isn't sustainable without systemic change
If you're in a helping role, nonprofit work, caregiving, or any profession built on empathy—and you're exhausted, conflicted, or questioning your limits—this episode offers clarity, language, and permission to choose yourself without shame.
Because meaningful work shouldn't cost you your mental health—and it doesn't have to be either/or.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

What if you can feel crushed by grief AND held by gratitude at the same time?
This is a solo episode about navigating the messy middle of holding mixed emotions when everything feels heavy. About the transition anxiety of major life changes when you're holding both/and: grief and gratitude, exhaustion and hope, breaking and building. For anyone who feels guilty for being grateful when they're also drowning.
I'm sharing what it means to build emotional resilience without toxic positivity, how to hold grief without letting it consume you, and why life transitions require you to feel everything—not choose between good and bad. This is about emotional regulation when the weight is real and the gratitude is too.
In this episode:
- The bothness of grief and gratitude
- Mixed emotions: heavy and hopeful at the same time
- Navigating major life changes when everything feels overwhelming
- Building emotional resilience without toxic positivity
- Emotional regulation when the weight is real
- Why life transitions require you to hold it all
- Grief as part of growth, not the opposite
Resources & Links:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

The messy middle of leaving a fear-based religion isn't just about changing what you believe — it's about starting over when the fear itself was the foundation everything was built on.
Thomas Edmonds grew up in fear-based youth group culture. He joins Nikki P to talk about what it's like to realize the religion that raised you was built on control, not connection — and what starting over looks like when you have to rebuild your beliefs, your community, and your sense of self from scratch.
— Starting over spiritually when deconstruction strips everything away— The grief of losing a community and a certainty you didn't choose to lose— Found family vs. church family — what replaces what you left— Boundaries with people who can't accept where you are now— What's left when you strip away the shame
You're not broken for questioning. You're not broken for leaving. You're allowed to start over.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Career and motherhood both matter—so why does it still feel impossible to know if you're doing it "right"?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of decision making when you're carrying ambition, guilt, and the anxiety of major life changes. About the gap between the working mom you want to be and the one you fear you're becoming—that space of transition anxiety where every choice feels loaded. For anyone overthinking every decision while managing work, kids, and the mental load.
Nikki P sits down with Heather Neisen for an honest, funny, and deeply relatable conversation about the working-mom tug-of-war: traveling for work, daycare judgments, identity shifts, and the quiet fear that motherhood will be seen as a "limiter" in professional spaces. Heather shares how growing up in a more traditional, patriarchal church culture shaped her beliefs about roles and sacrifice—and what changed as she built a family system outside the default script.
You'll hear practical reframes around self-compassion, values-based choices, and the role of community—including the idea that daycare is support, not failure. If you're navigating burnout, people-pleasing, or constant second-guessing, this conversation gives language for holding the tension and making choices from clarity, not shame.
In this episode:
- Decision making without guilt or overthinking every option
- Identity shifts in motherhood and career
- Boundaries around mental load and expectations
- Self-compassion when you feel like you're failing
- Navigating burnout without abandoning your ambition
- Emotional regulation tools when anxiety about judgment kicks in
- Mixed emotions: love and resentment, ambition and exhaustion
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Crisis support: If you're thinking about suicide, in crisis, or need to talk, call or text 988 (U.S.) or visit the 988 Lifeline.
Grief doesn't follow a straight line—and it doesn't cancel out joy.
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of grief and the transition anxiety of major life changes after profound loss. About the gap between who you were before loss and who you're becoming after—where devastation and gratitude, laughter and sorrow, can exist at the same time. For anyone holding mixed emotions after losing someone they love.
In this episode of It's Both, Nikki P sits down with Annie Paraison to explore navigating transitions after profound loss. Annie shares her experience of losing multiple loved ones—including her father and her partner—and how community, ritual, and honest self-awareness supported her through seasons of grief and growth. Together, they name the emotional paradox of loss, the difference between pain and suffering, and why healing isn't about "moving on," but learning how to stay present with what's real.
This conversation gently weaves in themes of grief and growth, mixed emotions, self-compassion, and emotional regulation—offering language for those moments when your body feels broken but life keeps inviting you forward.
If you're grieving a person, a relationship, or the life you imagined, this episode offers companionship, clarity, and permission to feel without shame—without toxic positivity or pressure to be okay.
Because healing doesn't mean choosing between sorrow and joy. Sometimes it means holding both.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Connect with Annie
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube
 

What if you love your friends but can't find the energy to show up?
This is a conversation about adult friendship, burnout, and navigating the messy middle of life transitions when maintaining friendships feels impossible. About the transition anxiety of being a bad friend when you're already drowning and the major life changes in how you prioritize relationships. For anyone who wants connection but has nothing left to give.
You'll hear about long-distance friendships, childhood connections that evolved, and why adult friendship requires different energy than it used to. This is about boundaries around capacity and the grief of friendships that drifted because life got hard.
In this episode:
- The anxiety of being a "bad friend" when you're burned out
- Navigating major life changes in friendships
- Boundaries around friendship capacity
- Long-distance friendships and childhood connections
- Grief for friendships that drifted
- Why adult friendship feels harder
- Emotional regulation when you want to connect but can't
- Letting go of friendship guilt
If you're missing people you love while trying to build a life where you are, this episode offers language, relief, and a few doable ways forward—without keeping score.
Because friendships don't have to be all-or-nothing to be real.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

The messy middle of motherhood often looks invisible — managing everything, carrying everyone, and quietly running out of yourself, while the world asks why you're not fine.
Nikki P goes solo to name what burnout really is in the context of motherhood and the mental load: not a personal failure, but a capacity problem. She talks about how overthinking fuels burnout, why awareness alone increases overwhelm instead of clarity, and what it looks like to give yourself permission to soften without easy answers or toxic positivity.
— How overthinking the mental load fuels burnout in motherhood— Why being constantly aware makes the overwhelm worse, not better— The emotional cost of decision fatigue and invisible labor— Practicing self-compassion when rest feels impossible
You don't need to do more. Sometimes relief doesn't come from doing — it comes from listening differently. Both things can be true.
Resources & Links:- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube