It’s Both — Living in the Messy Middle

EPISODE 9: "Modern Masculinity & Emotional Regulation"
Guest: Devon Neisen
REVISED DESCRIPTION:
Modern masculinity needs emotional regulation—but most men were never taught how to build it.
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of identity shifts around what masculinity means. About the transition anxiety of being asked to change without being given the tools and the major life changes in how men show up in relationships, leadership, and partnership. For anyone exploring what strength looks like when it includes emotional awareness, self-regulation, and relational presence without overthinking or performing.
In this episode of It's Both, host Nikki P sits down with Devon Neisen to explore the tension many men feel today and unpack how emotional regulation supports healthier relationships, clearer boundaries, and leadership rooted in connection rather than control.
You'll hear reflections on emotional regulation, self-awareness, mixed emotions, and the cost of suppressing feelings—along with practical language for navigating vulnerability without shame or anxiety about being "too much" or "not enough." This episode offers space for nuance, compassion, and personal growth without demonizing men or romanticizing toughness.
If you're navigating masculinity, leadership, partnership, or identity shifts, this episode provides clarity for navigating transitions—without pressure to perform or toxic positivity.
In this episode, we cover:
- Emotional regulation tools for men (without shame)
- Self-awareness and mixed emotions in modern masculinity
- Boundaries that protect relationships
- How to navigate vulnerability without overthinking
- Self-compassion when you feel stuck between old and new models
- Why emotional regulation matters for leadership and partnership
Because life isn't either/or—it's both.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Listen to The Imperfect Dads Podcast
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

What happens when your marriage, identity, and faith all fall apart at the same time?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes when everything unravels at once. About the transition anxiety of watching your entire foundation crack and not knowing what's left. For anyone whose life transitions aren't happening one at a time—they're colliding.
Therapist and educator Janice Holland—The Trauma Teacher—joins Nikki P to share her story of when marriage crisis, identity shift, and faith transition hit simultaneously. You'll hear about the both/and of grief and relief when everything breaks, how faith transition complicates marriage crisis, and why starting over feels impossible when you don't recognize yourself anymore.
This is about emotional regulation when the chaos is overwhelming, boundaries you didn't know you needed, and learning that unraveling isn't the end—it's the beginning.
In this episode:
- When marriage, identity, and faith transition collide
- The anxiety of everything falling apart at once
- Grief for the life you thought you'd have
- Navigating major life changes simultaneously
- Starting over when you don't know who you are
- Emotional regulation in the chaos
- Boundaries during crisis
- Why unraveling is terrifying AND necessary
If you're experiencing a relationship change, faith deconstruction, or any major life transition, this episode offers language, validation, and grounded reflection—without toxic positivity.
Because life isn't either/or—it's both.
Resources & Links:- Get Connected with Janice Holland, The Trauma Teacher
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

What if the invisible labor isn't just exhausting—it's making you spiral?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of the mental load, overthinking, and the anxiety of major life changes in how you parent. About managing everything while your brain won't stop running through lists. That transition anxiety between the parent you thought you'd be and the one drowning in invisible labor. For anyone carrying the mental load and wondering why they can't turn their brain off.
Nikki P sits down with Hannah and Amy from Elevate Consulting to unpack the both/and of loving your family AND resenting the labor, how overthinking multiplies when you're the only one tracking everything, and what emotional regulation looks like when you're touched out and thought out. This is about boundaries, asking for help, and identity beyond motherhood.
In this episode:
- The anxiety and overthinking of carrying the mental load
- Why managing everything makes your brain spiral
- Navigating major life changes in parenting approach
- Boundaries around invisible labor
- Emotional regulation when you're overwhelmed
- Mixed emotions: love and resentment
- Asking for help without guilt
- Identity beyond motherhood
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Learn more about Elevate Consulting
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

The messy middle of body image isn't loving your body or hating it — it's the quieter, harder ground of body neutrality, and most of us were never taught it was an option.
Therapist Heather Lefebvre joins Nikki to talk about why body neutrality is more realistic than body positivity, and why the goal might not be to love your body — but to stop going to war with it. They talk about the complicated messages most of us received about our bodies growing up, what happens when you give your body to everyone else for a decade and forget to ask what it needs, and the moment Heather felt genuine gratitude for her body for the first time.
— Body neutrality vs. body positivity (and why the difference matters)— How diet culture creates an identity shift in how you see yourself— Unlearning shame without performing self-love you don't feel— What it means to start over in your relationship with your own body
You're not broken for not loving your body yet. You don't have to choose. Both things can be true.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Get connected to Heather Lefebvre
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

What happens when joy and grief exist at the same time? When relief and anxiety, love and loss, confidence and doubt all show up together?
This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of divorce, parenting, and identity shifts—and what it really means to hold two truths at once. About the transition anxiety of major life changes when nothing feels clear. For anyone moving through a transition and wondering if they're doing it right.
In this opening episode of It's Both, host Nikki P shares a personal story about divorce, parenting, and identity shift—exploring the emotional regulation it takes to sit with mixed emotions, make sense of overthinking during big life changes, and stay grounded when the gap between who you were and who you're becoming feels overwhelming.
You'll hear honest reflection on navigating transitions after divorce while parenting young kids, the pressure to "do it right," how identity changes when the life you built no longer fits, and practical ways to hold mixed emotions without shutting down.
In this episode:
- Navigating transitions after divorce while parenting young kids
- Overthinking, emotional tension, and decision making
- Identity shifts when the life you built no longer fits
- Practical ways to hold mixed emotions without shutting down
- Building emotional resilience without toxic positivity
- The anxiety of major life changes
- Grief and relief showing up simultaneously
If you're moving through a major transition—divorce, family change, or a season of becoming—this episode offers language, validation, and permission to be unfinished. Healing isn't linear. You don't have to choose between truths to move forward.
Because life isn't either/or—it's both.
Get Connected & Support the Show:
- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Have you ever felt torn between joy and sorrow, success and failure, or love and loss? Life is a beautiful contradiction, and in this season of "It's Both," host Nikki P. takes you on an enlightening journey that dives deep into the complexities of life's contradictions through authentic storytelling. Nikki emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and embracing the multifaceted nature of human experiences, illustrating how we can hold conflicting emotions and truths simultaneously. This episode is a heartfelt invitation for listeners to explore the gray areas of life, where joy and pain coexist, and where our stories intertwine in unexpected ways. As Nikki guides you through real-life narratives, she encourages a shift away from binary thinking, advocating for a deeper understanding of our realities. The discussions revolve around the idea that life is not simply black and white but rather a rich tapestry of experiences that can be both challenging and beautiful. By sharing relatable stories, Nikki aims to foster healing and connection, reminding us that it is entirely possible to feel multiple emotions at once. Whether you’re grappling with personal challenges, navigating relationships, or simply seeking a more profound understanding of your own experiences, this episode of "It's Both" offers valuable insights that resonate on many levels. Through the lens of authentic storytelling, Nikki explores how we can embrace our contradictions and learn from them. She highlights the power of vulnerability and the strength that comes from sharing our truths. By doing so, she paves the way for a more inclusive conversation about the human experience, one that acknowledges the beauty in our struggles and the lessons learned along the way. Join Nikki as she unpacks the complexities of life, encouraging you to reflect on your own journey and find solace in the shared nature of our experiences. Don't miss this opportunity to engage with a community that values authenticity and real connection. Tune in to "It's Both" and discover how embracing the contradictions in your life can lead to greater understanding, acceptance, and ultimately, healing. Let’s celebrate the beauty of life's complexities together and learn how to navigate the intricate dance of emotions that shape our existence. Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.